How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
