I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
