He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
