Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
