where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
