How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I want her autograph on my taint
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
