Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm at about main and main street
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
