did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
