Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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