I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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