I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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