so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
