Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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