I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She told me I should be a condom model.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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