Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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