all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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