Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
