shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
