They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
