Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
