As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize