How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
