like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
