Having a random hookup so left but love u
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
