Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
