I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
