the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
