You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
