Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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