Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Even my vagina gasped.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
