She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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