yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this just has baby written all over it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
