i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
