is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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