We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
