my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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