Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
