These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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