i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
