I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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