In the future we'll all be gay
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
