with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
