I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
