if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
