So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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