first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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