The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
