Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
