you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
