Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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