i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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