Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
