I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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