oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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