Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
