Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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