dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
