dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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