Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
