You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
