Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
