So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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