yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
