Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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